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Mischa Lecter

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(no subject) [Nov. 7th, 2007|06:47 pm]
Mischa Lecter
this is going to be partially friends only. so if you want to read any "juicy", you'd have to be my friend.
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on selling out [Oct. 21st, 2007|01:02 pm]
Mischa Lecter
in response to much peer pressure (from many people, not only from sam :) ) I have finally created a facebook. I suppose. for the sake of keeping in touch-ness, and it's pretty much like myspace for college students and pseudo-intelectual highschool students (...or so it SEEMS). but never the less... I'm on facebook now. because I'm a part of the masses. a sheep. or whatever the anti-"social network site" people are calling us these days.
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Change is Real Good. [Oct. 12th, 2007|03:08 pm]
Mischa Lecter
So I always think back on friends I've lost/separated myself from and the thing they always tell me is the two words that are supposed to say so much: "you've changed."

This statement is supposed to somehow sum up all of the reasons the relationship is ending. It is supposed to somehow explain all of the things that make you want to move on and become a we or an us with someone else (and I'm not just talking romantic relationships here... I'm talking friendships too). and I get that. its simple. It's a widely understood reason to end a relationship with someone. But for me it isn't reason enough. I have always understood what it means in general, and in response its always been the simple "I understand" and just like that, its over. But what I have always wanted to say in response to "you've changed" is "so what?"

I don't get why people are so squeamish toward change. people can't handle it. Everyone I know, everyone I've ever known is so spoiled that as soon as something changes they freak out. I think people should try to hold true to things that are important to them; yes of course. But in this world I think the ability to adapt is very important.

People obsess over change ad how important it is for the people they spend time around NEVER change. Heaven forbid anyone might be working toward personal growth! In every yearbook I've had since Junior High School I've had at least ten people write to me "don't ever change" and while of course I realize that it was meant as a compliment toward my character, I wonder why people cant just say that they appreciated the way I treadted them or whatever it was that they liked about me. Instead they demand I stay exactly the same. Where does that come from? that common thing that we write when we cant think of anything more personal.

Its about comfort.It's about not being able to accept what you know is going to happen. It is Denial. People will change. It's the only certainty in this world. But if you know that you wont run into this person ever again, you can write to them "don't ever change" in hopes that it wont happen. in hopes that they will infact stay exactly as you knew and liked them forever and ever, So we write it. and we silence that thing, the fact that you know that they will change. and we do it for our own piece of mind. Because we can't allow ourselves to be put out of our comfort zone. (forgive if this makes no sense. I'm typing so fast just to keep up with these thoughts)

and this is where the rant comes full circle: For me, change is good. I don't mind it. In fact I appreciate it. I am constantly changing. and Isn't that a good sign? shouldn't I be glad that I am not treading water? Because if you arent changing, for better or for worse, it must mean that while you may not be moving backward you most certainly are not moving forward. and I for one cannot love myself and be happy with my life if I am not growing. and when it comes to ME- because I cannot speak for anyone else- in order to grow, I must change.
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(no subject) [Oct. 5th, 2007|11:19 am]
Mischa Lecter
So Nelly called me the other night and now I guess I'm going to work at Starbucks. It should be good times. It's temporary. I'm lightweight excited.

Kit's german exchange student is coming. Eddie says he's going to stay at my house but I'm not so sure he's serious. I have so much to do this weekend. fun.

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what I'm doing here [Sep. 22nd, 2007|11:44 am]
Mischa Lecter
[Current Mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[Current Music |Buttons, Sia]

I was at first reluctant to start a blog here at LiveJournal. I didn't want to fall in with the massive emo-scene crowd. Also because when you write about your personal life on a site like LJ, someone you know is bound to find out what drugs you're addicted to/who your sleeping with/what you did last summer, etc. I learned that the hard way when I was younger. I still haven't gotten my old account deleted and the entries were very down and emo, and most of all, QUITE personal. I was so naive that I had no mind whatsoever to at least try to conceal my identity. I payed no attention to the whole internet safety thing. Yes, I was emo. But I was emo before people made fun of you and called you stupid names like: emo. Now I'm not trying to bash anyones lifestyle. emo it up baby. I sure did. and I believe that everyone does. Anyone who has any intellectual activity gets sad when they are going through the intense spike in hormones and wanna-be poeticism that is puberty. and they write beautiful faux-suicide-notes and complaints about how life just isnt fair in their LJ... but most of us grow out of it.

So anyway on with it: I finally cracked and moved to LJ because I like to write. More accurately: I like to write about me. I'm pretty much totally narcissistic. I write about the things I care about. I write about things that interest me: me; myself, my life. And thats it. In its purest and simplest form.

I used to blog on another site (Iam.bmezine.com) but I'm not sure that I fit so well there. People are judgemental. way more so than any one might expect, considering that they're a community for the modified. I still am a member on IAM, but ony for the forums that I frequented. and that will soon end; as my subscription ends in November and I do not plan on renewal. So, alas... I'm here. being stupid. writing my thoughts with no one. I've had an LJ before and I know how it goes. I know how you make friends. And maybe I will, or maybe I wont make LJ friends. I'm just not sure yet.

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Intro to the revolution; the revolution is on standby. [Sep. 22nd, 2007|03:03 am]
Mischa Lecter
[Current Mood |awakeawake]

Hi. I'm a young (under 25) woman. I spend half my time complaining about things, and the other half trying to make changes (usually half-assed attempts). While some may see me as a young person of modern values (I'm a slightly modified vegetarian and my mohawk has since grown out, but yes, I've gone there). I go back and forth and can never pinpoint where I stand when it comes to my lifestyle. I don't quite identify as a vegan because I haven't completely committed to that lifestyle yet. Yes, I am a typical representation of my generation, but at the same time I like to entertain the thought that I have a very old soul. I love life.

I can say that I would love to be all barefoot and dreaded or even a stilleto-wearing fashionista. but honestly, image wise, I'm totally, completely, and depressingly ordinary. I usually make one drastic statement to speak for my image But always only just one. One at a time. That's how I roll. My choices usually never reflect correctly on who I am. I guess I should choose more carefully when picking my next faux-pas.

I have a signifigant other, and we've been together for a smidge over three years. His name is Lady Murasaki. (as far as anyone is concerned). We're not thinking of marriage. He’s amazing; I’m just very interested in enjoying my youth. I like to discuss my sex life. That's another explanation for the fake name. So now that I've introduced myself... Let the bitching begin!


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